Red Flag! 5 Signs You’re a Victim of Gaslighting

Gaslighting Meaning

The play Gaslight is a 1938 Victorian thriller written by the British novelist and playwright Patrick Hamilton. Hamilton’s play is an exposé on toxic masculinity; a dark tale of a marriage based on deception and trickery, and a husband committed to driving his wife insane to steal from her. The man secretly, continuously alters a woman’s environment to make her fear she is losing her mind.  The term “gaslighting” refers to what someone does when he (or she) is trying to make you doubt your perception of reality.   Gaslighters are master manipulators. They appear innocent and naïve but are extremely clever and deceptive. Their actions lead a perfectly sane person to question their thoughts and feelings. This behaviour is often fueled by the person’s desire to control or gain things. Some gaslighters may convince you that what they are doing is for your own benefit. It’s their way of making you feel guilty. It may not seem like it, but one reason why gaslighters act this way is that they feel extreme anxiety about the thought of losing you.  

 

5 Signs of Gaslighting:

1 . YOU ARE BEING LIED TO.

You’re dealing with a gaslighter if they deny facts you both know are true.   

2. They tell you your recollection of an incident that DID NOT TAKE PLACE. 

They are confusing you with details and events that never took place as a part of their manipulation.  

3 . They find Allies.

They talk to Friends about the fake incident he created in your head to make you look lost and unreliable.  

4 . Being GASLIGHTED is extremely destructive because the victim always feels off-kilter.

 

5 . Eventually, YOU FEEL YOURSELF SLIPPING OFF a cliff – you question your ability to perceive.

This is difficult to recover from because the person you are doubting is YOU.

 

 

HOW DO YOU STOP A GASLIGHTER?

You can’t. But you can stand your ground, or Walk Away. Walk away and demand they leave you alone. A gaslighter will try to worm their way back into your life. Do not let them.   State clearly, you do not want contact. Not anymore. You have nothing you wish from them. They will want to get their hooks back in. They want their victim back. Don’t fall for it. As soon as you give them an inch, they’ll take a city and they will hurt you again. Say no, again and again. Shut the door in their face. Hung up the phone. Block them. And lose that chapter for good.  

HOW TO MOVE FORWARD?

  People are complicated. Abusers rarely abuse 24–7, true. They can be nice 99% of the time, but you should NOT have to put up with that 1%. You deserve better. You may or may not find someone like them, but it’s better to take the risk of not finding someone than take the risk of them escalating and killing you. You don’t think it’s possible, I know. But when you first met them, did you think they’d physically abuse you?   Loving someone doesn’t give them the right to violate their boundaries physically and emotionally.   Keep in mind that if someone capable of gaslighting will never stop once they’ve started. And the person capable of gaslighting isn’t worth knowing or having in your life; that person is equivalent to a cancerous tumour discovered somewhere in your body… You don’t find a way to live with it, you remove it as quickly as you can. So if you think/feel someone is gaslighting you, the only thing you can do is eject that person from your life, Now!   Being Gaslighted is a serious issue that can affect a person’s Mental health. If you or someone you know is being Gaslighted and needed support or someone to talk to, you can fill out this form for a FREE 15-minute counselling with our qualified Therapist and Mindsetting Expert~ Teressa Everton.